the anatomy of a kid’s meal…!
I have personally felt a lot of shame, granted it may not be warranted but it is how I feel, around my oldest's eating habits, as a dietitian people love to make the joke that the “painter’s house is never painted” 😵💫 because an RD who genuinely loves food who has at least 1 kid so far that truly just doesn't is semi-funny, maybe?!
But with that sentiment, I like to remind myself and clients of ours of the facts about feeding kids.
So let’s start with a hard truth….
if meal time is stressful for you, it is also stressful for your kids.
And we cannot cultivate a healthy relationship with food for our kids, if they are stressed while eating or around food. PERIOD.
So the first reminder, with picky and selective eating, a lot of it can revolve around control, our kids don't get to control much in their day to day, so when they can control SOMETHING like what and how much they eat, they often sink in - I know this is the case for my 5 year old.
(and also please know this is not the case or anything I type out here is not the case for all kids, those with feeding disorders or non neurotypical may have very different needs that need adjusting to when it comes to feeding, please speak with your care team for support!)
That said, it is important as the mom to remember your role here, your role is provide the food, provide the variety, make the enviornment stress free and FUN and also most of all SAFE.
You cannot force it.
It will backfire.
It may not backfire today, but the future of your kids enjoying food will be impacted and that is not what you want.
But you have to keep trying, alongside foods that you know are safe for them and that they will eat and enjoy because fed is still best.
So please remember, exposure matters, getting them involved helps, they are likely not protein deficient as they don't need as much as you think but what they do need is VARIETY, fiber and micronutrients.
I explain a lot of this here.
The exposure, the decreased pressure, the fun enviornment, it really helps!
But if you are also feeling a certain way about the frozen menu you serve…often (like me) I want to share a few things that may help you!
First its important to uderstand what kids really need. all ages.
They need to build trust with their bodies and form a solid relationship with food - eating together and meal times fosters this, they need varitey offerred to foster good gut health, and they need boundaries within control.
One of my favorite things i learned this year was from a therpist who said that there are 3 things we cannot do for our kids - we can control most things but we cannot pee or poop for them and we cant eat for them so they typically like to assert control over one of these 3 things! Mind blown, my oldest chose food. Looking like my middle is choosing potty training, stay tuned LOL.
Its hard but my job is to offer, to provide boundaries, educate and to allow some control in a safe setting.
Kids appetites like ours vary from day to day, they do not need as much quantity as you may think and every bite counts!
What I want you to do as parents to foster health for your kids:
Offer a variety of foods, often - think all colors and lots of different types of proteins/carbs/fats alongside their safe foods
Eat with your kids and help them foster a healthy relationship with food
Have boundaries around food BUT allow them the control (FOR THE MOST PART - extenuating circumstance exist) of how much they eat. That is their “job”
Help them understand what food does in our bodies
Now let’s normalize some of your kids fave foods so you feel better about it all, I promise. If these are common for your home here are some ways you can spruce them up but also know they are likely great the way you are serving them!
GRILLED CHEESE: use higher protein, whole grain bread at home + cheese + butter/ghee/oil – carbs + protein + fat
sneak in nutrition: add hemp seeds to the cheese for added protein/fiber/nutrients
ex: 2 slices Daves Killer Bread white bread (6g protein) + 2 slices of cheese (~8g protein) + butter on bread: ~14g protein, whole grains, unsaturated fats - serve with fruit or veggie or both
PIZZA: contains protein, carbs and fat as is. can buy dough at TJs or Uncle Giusseppes around us and make your own or do greek yogurt/flour dough too! Serve with fruit and you truly have a complete meal. Bonus they actually eat it.
sneak in nutrition: add hemp seeds to the cheese, chia seeds to the crust if your kids like seeds! pick the cheese and sauce if you DIY it and add fun toppings if the kids allow!
CHICKEN NUGS: Quick, easy source of protein - the air fryer
can save the day! They pair with anything and you can eat them too and stll be “healthy!”
sneak in nutrition: the caulipower nuggets have veggies (kinda) and look just like a restaurant nugget! Other similar brands exist too.
MAC AND CHEESE: again consider cheese a fat/protein and pasta the carb
you can easily blend veggies and/or eggs into the sauce(or dont), serve as is with sides of fruit
and veggies OR try a higher protein version like goodles or banza.
PASTA: can opt for a higher protein or wheat/bean
variety, serve plain or with EVOO or sauce or a
“dipping sauce” on the side
New shapes count as new foods in my house!
I was getting down on myself so wanted to share, if at first we don’t succeed we try again right?! If you have go tos or ideas I would love to hear them!
Also, I started a substack called Scars & Snacks, I braindumped a lot of my breast cancer journey on there and would love to share it with you. There is exclusive content and free content - here is the link to look :)
https://happystronghealthyrd.substack.com/
XOXOX
Jenna